I left the students and journeyed on to Taitung, possibly the remotest part of Taiwan, and here I had a chance to cleanse my body, mind and soul. Returning to nature, I’ve learnt the simple living from the A-Mei indigenous people who calls the ocean their refrigerator, whatever they want, they get it from the Pacific Ocean. For city folks who seems to have too much, they are never satisfied, but for the A-Mei people, despite succumbing to the tolls of nature, they remain smiling and happy. I wonder who is the party that is lacking and who has real abundance?

Coaching is a skill that can help people regain their smile and happiness, I am once again grateful to know such a tool that helps myself and others. This ignites the love I have for myself, for others and for my community. In deep gratitude to ICA for providing this platform to love oneself and others.

When you someone cuts in front of you, be it driving, in a line for something or just walking in a busy district, you may get triggered and get angry. Listen to what your head is thinking and how you are feeling. An example:

[Possible Self talks]

The person is such a  ….

He/She is so rude ….

He does not respect me …

I am such a … for letting him/her do that

I feel angry!

[Using your Realist voice] – BREATHE

Is it true? Is it absolutely true? Is there any generalisation/distortions/ deletion in these self talks?

[Conscious choice] – BREATHE

Understanding the balanced truth, what is my conscious choice?

What can I do now that will honour me and what I am trying to do?

Living a life of ease is a choice, not a miracle.

Wishing you an easy life.

Felicia

source(s) : Bridge Partnership & NLP techniques

From the time Darrell my late husband was diagnosed to the point he left for a life of ease was 5 months…

When I picked up my life and continue my journey, this question keeps ringing in my head. If I had only 5 months left, how would I spend my time? Who do I choose to have around me? What choices will I make regarding my finances?

My loved ones were the first to flash in my head. Living a life that brings light to the world is the next thought.

Death is no longer conceptual to me, it is real. The push to do things and be with people that really matters hit home.

Whilst I do not wish it upon anyone to have to face this dark reality, but in a country where 12 new cases of cancer is found everyday and 24 people dying from this dis-ease is a publicized data, this morbid idea is no longer that remote.

What will you do if you have exactly 150 days left on this earth, 150 days more to breathe, what do you envisage yourself doing? What is the legacy you want to leave behind?

Don’t wait, start now.

Felicia

I have always subscribed to de-cluttering and recycling physical things. When loved ones and pets start to leave me, I could never really understood how that can help me?

Following points of views helped me to cope:

• Sacred contract

Kind souls have told me that every one has a sacred contract and when it is finished we leave the earthly place. I guess that must work for dogs too Sacred contracts as explained to me is that we all come to earth to fulfill a mission and learn life lessons and accumulate wisdom. Once we are done with that, we are done here.

• Soul

Quoting Dr. Wayne Dyer, from NO WHERE we are NOW HERE and when we go, we return to NO WHERE. Amazing play with words, and yet, it resonate with me. His notion of we are souls living a physical experience does really make sense.

Material wealth does not bring happiness and peace, but a lovely and wise soul brings immense peace and happiness. I observed that when one has a strong spiritual faith (regardless of religion) one can cope with immense trials, even in the face of death.

The above points of views help to me see that I need to let go, let go of the need to control my life, the outcomes and results. Whilst it is important to have an intent in life, a direction that you want to lead your life, there is very little one can do to control the availability of “BIGGIES” items like family and loved ones.

I believe my sacred contract while I am NOW HERE is to be a beacon of light for people around me and help whoever who wants to be helped to be happier, more motivated and in turn generate more light. I am learning to let go, so that I have more space to fulfill my life’s sacred contract.

What do you want to achieve in life? What do you need to let go in order to make room for things that help you fulfill that goal?

Wishing you peace and abundance.

Felicia

Fond memories of him flashed back as I sit down with the family to have a meal together. A friend told me that when someone dies in a family, usually there is a lesson for the people around him. The lesson for me is really about gratitude. Being grateful that I still have time on earth today to sit down and eat with the family, being grateful for having beautiful in laws. We all try to bravely face yet another festivity and working on moving on with the fact of  a loss of loved one. The only thing that really helped me today was the sense of gratitude that I have about all that I still have in my life.

I am grateful for our nephew and niece who are growing up to be sensible young adults, trying to find their own personality no doubt, but still lovely to be around. I am grateful for parents and parents in law who are still in good health, sisters and brother in law who are supportive and kind. Joy who lives up to her name in every ways.

Darrell will be very proud of this family and I am sure he is like me grateful that we have a lovely family.

I realised that when I have a sense of gratitude in my life, I have to focus on good things and that in turn takes away the opportunity to have self pity, anger and other low energy emotions. I have immense peace and comfort when I am grateful for people and things in my life.

Everytime when you start to go on a low energy cycle, I urge you to think of something you are grateful for.

Wishing you an abundant Tiger year ahead full of people and things that you are grateful for.

Felicia

His journey reinforced my belief that all of us are meant to have a life of ease. When we have too much stress in our lives, get too caught up in the nuts and bolts in life, have too little time to focus on our spiritual side, we introduce dis-ease.

Saying that, I think there are many things that I am very proud of my partner Darrell Lim. Throughout his illness, I come to see how he has touched many lives and how he has mentored the people who has worked for him. One said that he was ‘the greatest boss on earth’ and others’ said that they have chosen a sales career because of him. He has nurtured many sales leaders and future sales leaders in different countries. He was passionate about his job and he enjoyed what he did for a living. How many people can say that about their career? He loved to wheel and deal and enjoyed that adrenaline rush of quotas and sales strategy. He was living a life of ease (even though there were pretty rough times he had to go through, i.e., financial crisis and green field start-ups etc).

As a family member, he had always sought harmony at home. He focused on the values of each relationship rather than on the nitty gritties of who is wrong and who is right. He learnt to appreciate the goodness of everyone around him. He loves a good meal surrounded by family members and cherished a good laugh as dessert. His upbringing has been humble and that has taught him to be discerning about money and ensured that the family has a safety net. He was a caring father and imparted life values through stories that he made up every night when he had to tell Joy, our daughter bed time stories. As a husband, he is understanding and supportive. No words can describe our close friendship and support for each other, and I suspect what we had were one of the rarest kinds of relationship in this fast paced instant gratification world. I am grateful that God gave him to me as my life partner.

Darrell, I love you and will always do. I know when my work here is done, I will see you again in heaven. Till we meet again, have fun in heaven telling stories to all the lucky souls around you.

Your life partner, Ben.

In the last post, I wrote about Visualization. Here I would like to explore Increasing awareness of positive signs and Decreasing doubts and fears …

Increase awareness of positive signs

Every day my partner experiences good improvements and other not so good feelings arising from pains or discomfort. I observe that he has a better day if he chose to focus on the positives. That takes tremendous inner strengths and will power because he has to deal with the rush of emotions ever since the doctor’s prognosis. On days where he succeeds, his days goes wonderfully well, and he is visibly stronger and happier. The people around him is vital in helping to point out all the good things that are happening, be it family members, friends or a coach. Since then, I have also learnt that listening to the patient is a vital skill to avoid being over positive which may become a deterrent for the patient. All in all, it is important to support the patient with a balance view of all things good.

Decreasing doubts and fears

This may well be the toughest step, so be gentle on yourself when managing this step. Doubts and fears are a natural part of our thinking construct, especially when we are dealing with the unknowns, and in our case, death. However, what we also found out is that this behaviour negates the equation of faith.  Once we allow doubt and fear into the equation, despair, self pity and other destructive and negative thoughts starts to cancel out our faith. The way I have learnt to deal with them is to accept that the thoughts are there, and thank it and let it go. For example:

Fearful thought: “I am afriad that I will die.”

Acknowledgement: “Even though I have this fear of death, I completely and totally accept myself.”

Gratitude: “Thank you – fear of death for presenting yourself. I now ask you to go away so that I can work on being alive.”

At first, to any analytical mind, this may sounds silly, but I urge you to give it a try and trust the process. This is a good way of letting go of any fears or doubt in our lives.

Until the next post, I wish you all good health and abundance just like God has showered my family and I blessings and abundace.

Felicia

Faith put simply is to believe unconditionally. Sounds logical and easy to understand at a conceptual level, but practically what can we do to move from a state where the medical opinion given was one of dire strait to a belief of full recovery and rejuvenation?!  We started of course by praying for a deliverance out of the medical condition that we have. But soon, doubts and fears start to attack our thoughts and questions and emotional challenges begin to surface.

To address this. we had to first acknowledge the presence of a few pertinent emotional levers, confidence, fear and doubt. Here is a simple way of presenting what I become aware of.

FAITH = Visualize the good outcome + Increase awareness of positive signs  + Decrease Doubts & Fears

Visualization

We worked on detailing the outcome that we want. To each person, this process is different. For me, it was imagining a snapshot of my partner and I being healthy and energetic, arriving at the HK airport to start the process of relocation back to Singapore. To my partner, it is story boarding with drawings to detail the scene where our doctor is telling us that he is back in perfect health. The essence of visualization is about getting the image in our heads as real as possible and implanting that image or scene in our heads (into our subconscious mind).  Emotional attachment to the outcome is as important as the scene description. The feeling of gratitude, relief and joy experienced when we experience the anticipated outcome is also an important element in the visualization process. When we think about the outcome, we must also trigger the emotions associated with it.  The point is to get it as real as possible in your head, as if you are already experiencing it first hand.

More about the rest in the next blog post.

Wishing you blessed abundance!

Felicia

S – Simple; M – Measurable; A – Attractive; R – Realistic; T- Timed

I discovered another dimension of it which is intent. Here’s the story…

7 years ago, I had an intent which is to be able conduct business in Chinese and  English. I wanted to reach out to Chinese speaking people. That was just the intent, I had no clue how it will materialized. The first thing I did was embarked on a translation diploma course to brush up my very rusty Chinese.  Then, we were still living in Singapore. 1 year into my studies, we had to move to Shanghai for my husband’s work. I found work quickly and easily in Shanghai doing management consulting (something I had experienced in).

On a separate note, I started studying at ICA which is an online coach training school. At that point in time, coach training was just another activity in my life. I started serving Chinese clients and wanted to provide my clients with some worksheets in Chinese. I then asked the school if I could translate the particular worksheet and use it with my clients, and the next thing I know was that they hired me to mange their translation project for all their learning modules.

As I learn about coaching, and see the fabulous results it is bringing me and my clients, my passion for coaching in Chinese blossomed. I became more involved in the school’s China project, taking different roles (sometimes I wonder where on earth I am going …).

I am excited to say that yesterday we started the Chinese program to train Chinese coaches. This is a marvelous start of another part of the journey around my intent. The ability to teach Chinese coaches in Chinese is another way that my intent is being manifested. I can’t wait to see what turns up next.

Here’s a summary of how this all hangs together.

1. Have an intent (something that you are passionate about, don’t worry if the idea sounds crazy)

2. Take the first little step towards your intent. Set up SMART goals to help you move closer to achieving your intent.

3. Tell people your intent, and opportunities will pop up.

4. Stock take and plan your next steps.

5. Have fun and celebrate every step of the way.

6. Trust yourself even when you are not sure where you are heading

What is your intent? What will move you closer to your intention.

Wishing you blessed abundance!

Felicia