Joy and I had a Easter break together and we were in Taipei taking all the possible roller coaster rides. She has just passed the 110cm criteria and was excited that she was able to get on these rides.

Being still a yound child, there was a point when we were on the Viking ship and she had a little panic attack. I could tell she was frightened and were definitely not enjoying the ride.

I turned around and asked Joy: “Sweetie if you are scared, just look at mommy.” And I gave her a big grin!

True enough, when the Viking Ship took another dive, she turned her attention to me. And this time, she looked and smiled at me and thoroughly enjoying the ride!

This brings me to another learning in life. What you focus on matters. If you focus on what is scaring you, you get scared and worried. If you focus on something or someone that gives you confidence, you find courage.

What are you focusing on today?

Wishing you a fearless life!

Felicia

Reprint of an article written for Mompreneur Asia.

6 years ago we left Singapore and moved to Shanghai because of my husband’s work commitment. I left my full time work and moved with my daughter, Joy who was then one and half. I was blessed to get a full time job in Shanghai and for 2 years, I struggled to balance corporate life (which includes 50% travel to client’s site) and caring for my daughter in a new environment. The stress of maintaining peak performance at work, running the household and most of all, being available to Joy in an easy and nurturing way finally broke my illusion of being able to balance it all
I left my corporate career and tried to be an expatriate tai-tai. That didn’t last very long as I found myself even more frustrated than before. I’ve heard about coaching and started looking for some help on the internet. I came across a school called International Coach Academy (www.icoachacademy.com) and they offered accredited coach training, tele-classes that are completely self-paced.

I began to seriously consider coaching as a career and business in late 2007 when I saw the many wonderful things that are happening in my life and that of my colleagues as a result of coaching. I have had clients telling me that by working with me, “they have come to like themselves”, ”they now have clarity in their life”, “am more confident about the future”, “found tools to reduce stress and remain focused” etc. The intrinsic reward from this business outweighs the wonderful revenue that I am drawing.

I got most of my clients from previous professional networks and contacts. As you can imagine, providing coaching is not a volume business, so one is limited by the available time that matches the time of the coaching clients. As a coach, I believe in life-long learning and I am currently working on my online presence and products so that more people can benefit from my work.

For anyone who wants to start a service business from home, it is important that you are clear on what you want to offer, how many hours you want to put in (work parameters) and who you want to offer it to. That way, your business and marketing plans become focused. Also be aware that revenue may not pour in right from the beginning so it is important that you have some realistic financial goals and commitments. I have learnt that the first 1-2 years is about learning the basics, especially when you are venturing into a new area. In my opinion, the important things that a Mompreneur should work on maintaining are self-confidence and focus. We can read books; attend classes and research on the technical aspects of running a business. But without self-confidence and focus, the rest may not go very far.

Running a coaching business from home gives me great flexibility, providing both mental stimulus and family togetherness. My business continues even when we moved from Shanghai to Hong Kong last year. Every day I ask myself “Is what I am doing complementing the life style I want?” I never want to “compartmentalize” my life again and every day I seek complementary activities that suit me. It is no longer work, just interesting activities in my life.

Felicia is a coach, trainer and consultant who helps people discover tools and techniques stay MOTIVATED, ENERGIZED AND JOYFUL! She keeps the following blog to support sharing of learnings on how to keep your life in flow. http://lifeofease.wordpress.com and can be contacted at felicia@imotiva.com.

I am currently working on expanding my online presence and learning about both the inner works and outer works. Inner works means working on my inner being, building confidence and resourcefulness. Outer works being how to build a website, how to draw traffic, how to speak to your audience etc etc.

As always, inner works appeals to me most as I always believe that “From Within – Comes Without”. I came across the notion of keeping  a Gratitude Journal from 3 different sources that I was looking at. Well, definitely the message is loud and clear from the Universe. START A GRATITUDE JOURNAL!!!

I found myself being more positive everyday, because I make a point everyday to list 7 things that I am thankful and grateful for. And I need to do it continuosly for 7 days and if I break the chain, I have to start it all over again. Interesting game. So I started writing for 3 days, the weekend came, and I got derailed. I started again this Monday and shared the game I was doing with my husband. That got him interested and now we make a plan that we would send each other email every day to list the 3 things that we are individually grateful and thankful for.

The ability to connect with a partner using the Gratitude Journal is an amazing thing. I invite you to try it yourself and if you find more people to participate in your game, even better. The amont of positive energy that this small activity generates is huge. Don’t take my word for it, try it yourself. For the next 7 days, write 7 things you are thankful and grateful for each day.

Enjoy your game!

Felicia

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. – Phillipians 4:8 (NIV)

The Bible has said that we should focus our thoughts on all things true, good and praiseworthy. For one thing, these thoughts will generate positive and uplifting energies and in turn more good things will happen. The opposite is also true when we focus on the negatives, energy spirals down.

At work, at home, with our loved ones, what do we focus on? The good or the areas to improve? How can we incorporate the focus of positives into our lives? How do we make that into a habit?

For the next 21 days, try writing something you are thankful for everyday in your Gratitude Journal (a simple notepad will do ) Spend a moment every day to acknowledge yourself, your spouse, your child, your co-worker something good that you have noticed. Notice if your own perspectives change with this one small change in habit?

What is one thing that you have done today that is truthful, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable? Acknowledge and praise yourself, for you have added to the positive energy in this world.

You are remarkable.

Felicia

I was listening to David Neagles teleclass and something he said about reality struck home.

Our belief shapes our perspectives which in turn presents our reality that we experience. How does this work?

If we believe there is a lack in life, the current economic will add frost to the snow as the Chinese says (雪上加霜）。As in it is all doom and gloom and with that perspective in our subconscious, it will work hard to prove that we are right. We will continue to look for facts and figures to substantiate that indeed we are living in a world of lack and our reality becomes one of fear, doom and gloom.

On the other hand, if we have a belief of abundance, our perspectives of life will be that we have people in life that appreciate us for what we are (cracks and all) and whatever resources we need will come into our lives at the exact moment we need it to be. Then our reality will be one of abundance as well.

Living a life of ease is really about that, taking on beliefs that gives you a reality of abundance, unlearning beliefs that creates a reality of lack and fear.

The next time you find yourself worrying about the lack of some resources, try asking the following questions:

1. What perspective am I holidng right now that is making me feel the fear and nervousness?
2. What belief is behind this perspective? Abundance or lack?
3. Which belief will serve me better to have confidence to move forward?
4. What perspective will I need to take on in order to feel at ease?

If you look at the consumer behaviour now, where everyone is cutting back on purchases, big ticket item etc, this is one in which they are operating from lack. However, the fact that they can do without the purchase and yet be able to carry on to the next day really is suggesting that we are already living in abundance.

What do you think?

Wishing you a life of blessed abundance.

Felicia

Met with a girlfriend before Christmas and here’s her amazing story to share:

She is from the States and came to China to work and it is also in China we had become good friends. In September, she resigned from her well paying high position job. Everyone around her told her she was crazy to quit during such economic turmoil, but she stuck to her guns anyways. She decided to backpack some beautiful cities of China and came back with some amazing stories like 30 RMB farm/village-stay and hiring a motorbike to see the countryside, photographs and most importantly good health (with all that moutain climbing in deep winter) and a sense of peace. You can see it on her happy face After her travels, she sent an email to one of her contact in the first company she worked for and they offered her a 6 weeks consulting project in her hometown. She gets a free trip to go home and see her family and at the same time generate a substantial consulting income. Isn’t that amazing!

She has reinforced the value of having the courage to surf through the storm by doing the following:

1. Keeping light – keep a simple lifestyle so that one doesn’t gets weighed down by unnecessary commitments
2. Having faith that all things will work out
3. Acting on your next step; staying put will not get you any further (may in fact bring one down to spiral of despair)

Remember that as long as we keep the faith, we can all ride out this storm. Have confidence in yourself.

Questions to ponder:

1. Ask yourself, what did you do during to overcome your last experience of a bad time, crisis etc?
2. Name 3 attributes that help you overcome the bad times.

These attributes are within you and they don’t disappear. Assure yourself that you have the strengths and talents to surf through this economic tsunami and will even develop even more talents during this process.

We all can do it.

Wishing you the agility to ride the tides:)

Felicia

It is easy to dwell into the gloom and doom that the news and media is spreading around. You turn on the TV, it’s there, you log on to your newsfeed, it is there… But STOP! Ask yourself, how does it affect you at this very moment?

Has it changed who you are as a person? Has it changed the love and generosity that you have within you? Are you defined by who you are inside or what is happening around you?

In Chinese, within danger (危机）one can find opportunity (机).

Do you let ”danger-危” stop you in your track? Or do you keep in motion to search for opportunity-机?

Are you letting worrying thoughts stop you from moving into action? How does it really affect you now in this very moment? Could you possibly act this very moment so that whatever the next moment caused by the external factor is nullified by your action taken this very moment?

In Chinese, there is a saying when you sit still it is equivalent of waiting for doom (坐以待毙) .  The only way is to keep going in what you are doing, holding on to your faith and keep going. 

Let’s all do our bits to generate more positive energy in the world we are in. Every bit counts.

Wishing you blessed abundance.

Felicia

If you ask many people this question, they will say “No”. But yet they will also tell you that without money, life is not possible… which I totally agree!

However the middle ground between the 2 which gives a peace of mind is the element of trust. Trusting that you and all your dependents will be well provided for, trusting that you will ALWAYS have what you need. Our minds love to chatter and play stories to scare us. Remember when we are young, we used to be afraid of the monster in the closet? Well, the FEAR monster exists in our heads and starts to spin What ifs in our heads which cause tremendous stress and upset our life of ease.

Byron Katie is a celebrated writer and is a lady with immense wisdom. Here is a link to her article on this very subject. Happy reading.

http://www.byronkatie.com/newsletter_oct08.html

Wishing you blessed abundance and peace!

Felicia

I was working with Joy on her spelling words the other night and she said something that struck me as such wisdom ( and from a 6 year old:) ) She said:”Mom, I will try my best but I know it is okay if I make mistakes because I am learning, right?” “Of course! Sweetie.” I said.

Learning means that we have not fully grasp the whole idea, it involves exploring, deciding which direction to further explore and ultimately it means freedom.

To Joy, it was learning in a stress free environment, because she is not giving herself the stress to be right. She has made a decision at that particular point to say that she is learning and is exploring how to get the word correctly represented. The result was great because she got all the 10 ten words correct the second time round! The experience was both efficient and happy for both of us!

One of things that I have learnt quite recently in my adult life is that life is a journey of learning. There really isn’t an end point while we are breathing. The perceptive full stop, success or goals achieved is only a pit stop in life in which we celebrate the arrival of that point in life and garner energy to move towards the next celebratory pit stop.

How do you see your own life now? Is it about working towards an end point or are you enjoying the knowledge that you have gathered along the journey and making a decision to explore one pathway vs another? What is your decision based on?

Wishing you a life with ease.

Felicia

felicia@imotiva.com

Living a life of ease is possible. Bad news (like the economy and loss of homes and jobs) and negative energy looms over ones head, so it seems that life is becoming difficult … or not. It all depends on how you want to live it.

Life of ease and abundance means the following to me:

1. Love oneself – Taking care of your physical, emotional and spiritual self
2. Generate space for good things – Remove clutter, Reuse, Recycle & Reduce
3. Develop and grow talents continuously
4. Create value with existing resources (resources being money, time, capabilities etc – i.e. having more money in itself is not really meaninful until we can use this energy to create even more value
5. Share love and companionship with partner, family, friends and our community.

This is my perspective of life that has been helping me to live a life of ease and I hope this will help you in some ways.

Always trust that there is hope and things and situations will change. Current situation will not last forever and we can choose a perspective that steer us to a life of ease. 

Wishing you a life of abundance and peace!

Felicia